It's been 9 years since we've moved here and I still am not accustomed to all the things I come across. Who knew moving 2 states away from home would be like moving to another country. For example:
Evidentally it is common to sit in your house on the toilet and shoot a deer on opening day. While I have never witnessed this, I am assumming the deer is not in your house, but just outside your bathroom window. That is, unless I am totally wrong, and your toilet is on the back porch, which could be also. . . .?
Once at dusk, I saw a tall thin man running full tilt down the side of the road, air-punching Rocky Balboa style, while wearing a Spiderman ski mask. At first I thought he had escaped from the local prison, but then realized he was running toward the prison.
I am glad I did not have to potty-train the boys here. I just can't bring myself to say, "Hey! If you gotta pee, at least pee OFF the porch!"
Just when you think you are acclimated to the red neck life, you overhear someone in the local store say, "My mother married my brother's sister." Really, I heard this for real.
I am not squeamish about fishing bait, but the grocery story having the ice cream right across the aisle from grubs and mealy worms is thought provoking.
And don't bribe your kids to go to a family function with promises of pigs-in-a-blanket. They are not cocktail wieners wrapped in crescent rolls. Uhmmm, I'm not really sure what the cabbage is wrapped around, but it is not a cocktail wiener.
